Charles and I picked up on the Game of Thrones series where we’d left off about a month ago and watched episodes five and six of season three, “Kissed by Fire” and “The Climb,” which quite frankly struck me as the dullest episodes of this show we’ve seen so far. The online synopses of these two episodes on imdb.com —
“Kissed by Fire”: Brienne and Jaime
are delivered to Lord Bolton where Jaime has his wounds treated. He tells
Brienne about the events leading up to killing the King and acquiring the name
Kingslayer. Sandor Clegane engages in mortal combat but succeeds in gaining his
freedom much to Arya’s annoyance. At King’s Landing, Cersei begins plotting
against the Tyrells and seeks Baelish’s assistance. Tyrion discusses the cost
of the upcoming wedding with Lady Olenna and she agrees to pay half the cost.
Tywin Lannister has become aware of the Tyrells’ plans to have Sansa Stark
marry Ser Loras Tyrell but he has his own idea as to who she should marry. Robb
has to deal with the murderers of Tywin Lannister’s young nephews, including
Lord Rickard Karstark, whom he executes against the advice of those around him.
Daenerys’ army is on the move. North of the wall, Jon and Ygritte become
lovers.
“The Climb”: In King’s Landing,
Tywin Lannister and Lady Olenna meet to discuss his children’s proposed
marriages. She puts up a good fight but in the end is forced to admit defeat.
Tyrion and Cersei bemoan their fate. Tyrion is forced to tell Sansa what his
father has decided. Baelish meanwhile eliminates a spy in his midsts. Arya
takes an immediate dislike to Melisandre when she arrives at their camp. That
dislike grows when she learns Melisandre is taking someone away with her. Jaime
negotiates his release and return to King’s Landing. Robb, his army depleted,
realizes he has no choice but to repair relations with the Freys. However,
since Robb didn’t marry one of the Frey daughters as promised, they demand
Edmure Tully marry one of them instead. Jon, Ygritte and many others arrive at
the Wall and begin the 700 ft. climb.
— basically go to show what a convoluted set of plots this
really is and how much the confusing intercutting between them (this show has
more “Meanwhile … ” moments than any film made probably since the 1916 20,000
Leagues Under the Sea, of which S. J.
Perelman said, “Everything … happens in the meantime; the characters don’t even
sneeze consecutively”) takes away from the overall appeal of the show. Charles
said something that’s occurred to me as well: he can see why people
“binge-watch” this series on DVD or online via streaming just so they can have
a fighting chance of remembering from episode to episode just who is who and
what side they’re on — for the moment, since the characters are also
continually double-crossing each other. It didn’t help that the two episodes
feature surprisingly little of the three most interesting characters — Tyrion
Lannister (Peter Dinklage, who as I’ve commented before undoubtedly relished
not only being in a long-running series but getting to play a richly defined multidimensional
role instead of the comic-relief sidekicks or sinister villains little-person
actors are usually limited to), Daenerys Targeryan (Emilia Clarke) and Joffrey
Baratheon (Jack Gleeson), have only teeny-tiny parts in these episodes. It also
didn’t help that most of these episodes took place either at night, indoors or
both — we heave a sigh of relief when the action finally cuts to broad daylight outdoors — and that much of
the show’s action is pointless. In the big scene of “The Climb” (which gives it
its episode title) the trainees of the Knight’s Watch, who are supposed to
maintain the big ice wall that separates “Westeros” (i.e., England and Wales)
from the presumably more primitive, savage kingdom to the north (i.e.,
Scotland), are supposed to scale the 700-foot wall (with surprisingly
modern-looking mountaineering equipment, like pitons and ropes). Apparently
it’s supposed to have something to do with their training, but I couldn’t for
the life of me “get” what this bizarre and dangerous ritual was supposed to
accomplish (and neither could Charles). And the significance of Jon Snow
(illegitimate half-brother of the Starks, principal contenders against the
Lannisters for the Iron Throne of the Seven Kingdoms — think of the real-life
Wars of the Roses in 15th century England between the Lancasters and
the Yorks) and Ygritte becoming lovers is that as a trainee for the Knight’s
Watch Jon was supposed to swear a vow of celibacy, but it was Ygritte who came
on to him and got into a hot tub
(O.K., a natural hot tub formed
by a warm mineral stream) with him naked, following which there’s an odd scene
of him fucking her while she’s naked but he’s wearing a long fur coat that
makes it look like she’s being raped by a bear. We’re midway through the third
season already and we’ve only been “teased” by the dragons which were
supposedly a big part of this series’ appeal, and while there are some good
moments here (notably Dinklage’s scene and a Gay sex scene that looks pretty
much like the straight ones, also some innocent fun at the expense of
Christianity, which is ridiculed here as the “Lord of Light” religion and made
to seem just as brutal and unforgiving as the pagan cults it’s up against in
the Game of Thrones spiritual
marketplace), for the most part Game of Thrones (these episodes, anyway) is just dull exposition
livened up occasionally by ponderous action scenes.
